i hate this.

i want to run up and hug him
assure him that i'm sorry and that i'll be a good girl again
fuck that
i can't do it
it won't actually change anything
he'll still roam around stomping on me
letting me come up for air only when convenient for him
he's a soul-sucker
energy-drainer
personality vampire
he doesn't even know it
he thinks he brings a ray of positivity into people's lives
he's sorely mistaken
but he'll be convinced for the rest of his life
that i'm the one with issues
the one who's touchy
the one who's no fun to be with
it is so hard to maintain this distance
i want to fix it fix it fix it
it will never be fixed
i don't know why i even think about trying