my new best friend
so i breed thicker skin and let my lustrous coat fill in and i'll never admit that i loved you...



JR is moving to a place near buffalo, NY. i will be moving as well.

i want to go to school there. there are four schools in the area that offer the program i need.

i'm not good with too many options. i'm much better at learning to deal with limited options. TOO MANY CHOICES IS BAD.

like, if i look at a diner menu, i have to have someone with me limit me to looking at breakfast or the other stuff. i can't make a decision looking at it ALL. it's too much.

also, i have no money in the bank and have to find a job and a place to live up there. i mean, UP there. it's really north. on a GREAT lake. it's probably snowing there right now. it probably started snowing in november and hasn't stopped.

i had a dream last night that was visiting my friend in key west. we were sitting on her deck drinking coors light cans and it was sunny but not too hot.

that is the exact opposite of what i will be relocating to. weird.

do brains explode? i hope not. at least the cats already have their winter coats ready.



today i realized i have a bonafide crush. it's a safecrush; my relationship with JR is in absolutely no danger. but it's strange.

he's much older than me. his wit is pretty sharp but then he'll ask things like, "does the time change going north/south or only east/west?" and he kinda reminds me of my dad (ewww).

which might explain why when i consider the crush or the levels of the crushiness, i don't ever think about any what if's with this guy. i don't think about what it would be like to kiss him. i only sometimes wonder what it would be like to curl up next to him on a bed and go to sleep. if it would feel safe.

definite electra (right? that's the female version of oedipal? i don't feel like researching...) syndrome. like last night i dreamt that we hung out at a restaurant and had a really good meal. that was it.

there may be another move on the horizon. i'm waiting to find out. i'm also waiting to find out my praxis scores and whether uconn's grad program wants me, but uconn is probably waiting on the praxis scores to decide. there's a lot of waiting going on. if the move that i think is going to happen actually happens, it won't be in connecticut anyway.

in the meantime, i'm gonna throw an arm over the cat snoring next to me and call it a night.



even when
aren't paying attention...
time marches on, sometimes before you've even noticed that any time has passed.

congratulations, ducky. i'm so happy for you. and cheers to the green and pink robots.

suddenly i miss california.
there is a sharp pang. i trust that it will pass...

happy new year


today (and yesterday) were devoted to a spontaneous viewing of all three extended lord of the rings movies.

goddamn is that some long shit. six hours today and six hours yesterday... it felt almost like work. except that i was sitting on my ass eating nothing good for me.

good movies, if a bit overrated. and after all that ass-sitting, i could've done with a few less monologues.

don't get me started on the tree shepherd.

other short reviews:

"first descent" fucking rocks. even if you're not into snow sports, it's a great doc. the soundtrack kicks complete ass as well, even if you have to buy someone else's playlist on itunes because they aren't selling an official soundtrack yet.

"brokeback mountain", while a little slow at times, is absolutely beautiful. i was halfcrying through the last thirty.

anyone seen "kong" yet? care to give a quickie review in the comments?