my new best friend
so i breed thicker skin and let my lustrous coat fill in and i'll never admit that i loved you...

new year's eve was as boring as heaven
i watched flies fuck on channel eleven
there was no one to kiss
there was nothing to drink
except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
and there's no ring there's no ring on the phone anymore
there's no reason to call i passed out on the floor
smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry

but at the right place at the right time
i'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine
i won't have to quit doing fucked up shit
for anyone but me

pieces of plane and black box recorders don't lie
don't lie

--"Private Eye", Alkaline Trio

"she wanted a man who would crush himself into her - psychically, sexually, utterly, daily - and never apologize."

--'Checkers and Donna' Kissing in Manhattan David Schickler

i hate my job today.
if you know anything about dealing with credit card processing companies, you will understand why.
i hate these phone calls.
i hate these people.

and why won't he just say what i want him to say?

i don't want to be married anymore.

so the health insurance thing came through. thank god. there was gonna be some hella bitching about that one if it had gone the way it seemed to be going.

and i thought a small business was where it was at. fuck that.

i can't listen to sharon answer the phone anymore. i think my eardrums will pop. they're bleeding as it is. little pinholes developing from her "customer service." she's a nice lady. i'm a bad bad bad person.

i think all the idiot feelings i've described in previous posts are starting to fade. definitely not gone yet. but fading.

"how very fucking healthy," she said, her teeth clanging against the bit.